In my last post, I discussed Larry Crabb’s vision of the Church as a community in which it is safe to be human. 

This is one of the characteristics of “spiritual community” that Dr. Crabb sketches out in his book The Safest Place on Earth.  The other hallmark of this community is the way in which conflict is handled in relationships. 

Conflict will occur in human relationships.  It is inevitable among broken human beings that are following their own selfish agendas.  Paul warns us of the result if this egotism remains unchecked in his letter to the Galatians. (see Galatians 5:14 & 15) Conflict will also come about simply because we are unique individuals and have different ways of seeing and understanding life.  Like Dr. Crabb said, “Conflict is latent in every human relationship at every moment. It simply awaits a trigger to get it going.” (pg. 40)

The problem is not that conflict exists. Rather, the problem is our attitude regarding conflict.  In unspiritual community conflict is avoided, and consequently the life giving power of truth is suppressed in our relationships.

Dr. Crabb lists some of the ways avoiding conflict is practiced unspiritual community. We may “hide conflict behind congeniality”, or we will focus the energy of conflict “into cooperation on worthy projects where ugly drives become commendable zeal.” Others of us will “sooth the pain  we feel because of conflict, using consolation.” If the conflict is of  a severe nature we  may use counseling.  Lastly, there are those of us who will “let conforming pressures try to contain our ugliness within renewed efforts to do better.” (pp. 40-41)  In other words, we will do everything but honestly work through conflict in a way that is mutually satisfying to all involved.  When we give in to the  afore mentioned methods of avoidance, our relationships will lack intimacy and true mutuality.

In spiritual community, conflict is seen as a chance to experience a greater intimacy and sharing in our relationships.  The manifestation of conflict is our call that we now have an opportunity to trust God in a new way, and at the same time see something new about ourselves and one another.  Often what we see we will not like as our brokenness and ungodly passions are brought into the light.  If we faithfully refuse to hide in the ways Dr. Crabb mentioned, the conflict now becomes a conduit of God’s healing grace into our broken humanity.

Baselia Schlink’s book, You Will Never Be the Same, is continuing to inspire our Lenten journey. This week we take a cue from her chapter on “Disobedience.” After reading through the chapter at dinner today, we’ll continue to meditate on her words at each meal by praying the following prayer:

Lent 5 (Week of March 29)
You Will Never Be the Same p 71 “Disobedience”

“Father, let us realize that camouflaged disobedience is still disobedience. We know that if we change the standard of Your commandments to adjust to the conditions of the times, we will have to bear serious consequences. It is hard to see how our heart deceives us into thinking our intentions are pure when in reality we are just satisfying our own ego. Place in us the light of Your truth. Let us see the true motives for our actions and repent when You unmask them and show us that our decisions and actions stemmed from disobedience. Looking into Your eyes, Lord, we see only pure love. Your will is goodness. If we choose Your will and act according to Your commandment, we will be bound to You. But if, in disobedience, we do our own will, we will be bound to Satan. We want to obediently say, ‘Yes,’ to Your will, even when it comes to us through other people.

“Bless O Lord, this food to our use, and us to Your loving service; and make us ever mindful of the needs of others. Lord, in Your mercy…Hear our Prayer”

One of the books I have been enjoying on my journey through Lent is, Death on a Friday Afternoon by Richard John Neuhaus. This book is a meditation on the last words of Jesus from the cross.  Mr. Neuhaus provoked me to think on the concept of Adam and Eve “reaching” for the tree of knowledge, reaching for autonomy, reaching to be like God. But they find that by trying to be “like God” they lose him. Contrasting this with the One…. 

“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped…” Philippinas 2:6 NIV 

Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden. 

After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life. Genesis 3:2 NIV

Adam and Eve could not go back and partake of the tree of life once they partook of the tree of knowledge. There was no simple solution. There never is when we turn away from the community of love in the Godhead. Our vision, our seeing, our paradigm, our course had been permanently and irrevocably altered. Only through the cross of Christ can we get our vision back because the cross was always the vision.  

In the New Testament we are reintroduced to the tree of life. With our damaged glasses and our broken humanity this seems to us to be the tree of death.  

“…..but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in humane likeness. And being found as an appearance man humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross!” Philippians 2:7-8 

We reached for autonomy. We reached to be like God, only to find out that who God is, is not at all who we thought he was. God is the crucified one, he is the one that lays down his life for the brethren, he is the one who is a servant of all.  

“….whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:43-45 

At the cross, the new tree of life, our vision becomes starkly clear. The tree of life is the tree of love poured out through servanthood. It is the tree of life that Adam and Eve forsook in the Garden.  

 I never understood the scripture that said, “The first shall be last and the last shall be first.” I always thought I should be last so really I can be “first.” Or thinking to myself I want to be “great” in Gods Kingdom so I better serve to achieve this.  Servanthood was a means to be “great,” and being “last” was a means to be “first.”  I finally understand, though dimly, that Jesus was not saying there is some heavenly ranking system of “greatness” or “first-ness.” This competition simply does not exist in Gods Kingdom.  The Kingdom of God is about love, servanthood, and cruciformity. They are not a means to an ends. They are the end. The Kingdom of God is so overflowing with love through servanthood that it even overflows to our enemies.  

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Luke 6:35 

Lord, may I only wear the glasses of servanthood, not to be great, not to be first, not to be “equal with you.” But by living in love I may join in the dance of the Trinity and walk in sweet communion and fellowship with my brothers and sisters and in some way be source of healing for those who have not known such love.

“God, help me to believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful it may be.” Larry Crabb, Connecting

Here’s the prayer and chapter reference we’re using for Lent 4 from Baselia Schlink’s book, You Will Never Be the Same:

Lent 4 (Week of March 22)
You Will Never Be the Same p 124 “Mistrust”

“Father, let us renounce false accusations towards You and our brothers. We know that it is egoism that nourishes our mistrust. We do not want to be respected or popular. We do not want to worry about whether we get a bad deal; we do not want to be involved in ourselves. We want to trust that You will not let anything happen to us that would not be for our good. We want to always think the best of our neighbor and not give way to any mistrustful thoughts again. We thank You that You only have thoughts of love and peace for us, for You have proved Your love. Depart from us Satan, we will have nothing further to do with you and your seductive thoughts. We belong to Jesus, who has won for us a childlike trust in the Father’s love.

“Bless O Lord, this food to our use, and us to Your loving service; and make us ever mindful of the needs of others. Lord, in Your mercy…Hear our prayer.”

“The core battle in everyone’s life is to relate well to God, to worship him, enjoy him, experience his presence, hear his voice, trust him in everything, always call him good, obey every command (even the hard ones), and hope in him when he seems to disappear.  That’s the battle the community of God is called to enter in each other’s lives.”  Larry Crabb, Connecting

This is a picture of what happens when you fast electronic entertainment for Lent.

I mentioned that we were using Basilea Schlink’s book, You Will Never Be the Same, as guide during Lent.  Each chapter focuses on a different sin with Sister Schlink offering counsel, what she describes as a “prescription”, for that sin.  Her penetrating words both convict and cleanse.  Each week we read a different chapter and offer a prayer at our meals that capture the message of her exhortation.  The following is the prayer for Week Three of Lent:

Lent 3 (Week of March 15)
You Will Never Be the Same p 108 “Love of Power: Desire to Dominate”

“Father, let the Holy Spirit show us our desire to rule and let us accept the testimony of our neighbors when they say we make life hard for them by our domineering attitude.  We ask for a repentant heart and godly sorrow for this malicious sin, which is such a strong contrast to Jesus’ humility. We want to stand here by You and from now on choose Your place of humble, meek love.  We want others to rule over us at home and at work, and be subject to them and even give up some of our special positions and privileges.

“Bless O Lord, this food to our use, and us to Your loving service; and make us ever mindful of the needs of others.  Lord, in Your mercy…Hear our prayer.”

Each week of Lent we are focusing on a different chapter from Baselia Schlink’s book, You Will Never Be the Same.  On Mondays at dinner we take our meal in silence and then read together a chapter from Baselia’s book.  Through the rest of the week we pray a special prayer for grace at the meals based on the the chapter we read at the start of the week.  We are in Week 2 of Lent and already this practice is bringing a blessing to our spirits.

The introspection encouraged at Lent need not be a morbid, discouraging activity, but instead be seen as a beautiful way to allow the Lord to gently touch our hearts and free us from attitudes and behaviors that are robbing us of joy and hindering our relationships.  God never exposes in order to crush.  Sometimes it’s hard to see how selfish and hurtful we have been, but that’s never the last word.  Jesus’ unfathomable love is always the final say, and we are held tightly in His arms of grace.

Here are the chapter references and meal prayers for the first two weeks of Lent (I’ll post the rest each week):

Lent 1 (Week of March 1)
You Will Never Be the Same p 154 “Self-Righteousness: Self-Justification”

“Father, let us open our hearts and listen to others when people say the truth about us.  We want to accept this practical help to be freed from the curse of blind self-righteousness.  It is so hard for us to hear others tell us about our weakness and our mistakes.  But we want to accept it as Your special offer of love to us, because Your warning voice comes to us through such people.  We want to give thanks for every person who calls our attention to our mistakes.  And when this does not happen, we want to ask the people around us to tell us everything.  And even if the admonitions and accusations are not one hundred per cent true, we want to use the opportunity to break our self-righteousness and self-justification.

“Bless O Lord, this food to our use, and us to Your loving service; and make us ever mindful of the needs of others.  Lord, in Your mercy…Hear our prayer.”

Lent 2 (Week of March 8 )
You Will Never Be the Same p 75 “Disrespect: Negation of Authority”

“Father, let us reject the arguments of Satan that say, ‘We all have the same rights’, or, ‘No one should have a position of authority above anyone else’.  We don’t want to be like him and fall because of disrespect toward You and those over us.  It is hard to admit the fact that we are exceedingly proud and do not want to be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.  But we want to respect those whom we are supposed to respect and obey them by doing everything they demand that is not against our consciences.  We accept your offer of a new and blessed relationship of respect for one another – one that stems from voluntary love and respect of those who deserve honor.

“Bless O Lord, this food to our use, and us to Your loving service; and make us ever mindful of the needs of others.  Lord, in Your mercy…Hear our prayer.”

“Naive Christians, the kind who want to freely release the goodness within them and trust their hearts to lead them aright, do not want to enter the battle raging in their souls. They have no appetite for identifying and destroying the enemy. Spiritual warfare, they hope, will involve only light skirmishes, never a fight-till-someone-dies conflict.” Larry Crabb, Connecting